“Well, I can see the issue if a baseball player uses performance enhancing drugs. It gives him a competitive advantage. But what does anyone care if I use them and just work out at the gym? That’s not illegal, is it?”

Uh, yeah, Brutus. It is illegal. Unless steroids or EPO were prescribed to you by your doctor, you obtained them illegally from someone who is not authorized to sell them to you.

And how about those side effects?

1. Boy boobs. Maybe the guys at the gym will find you more attractive.
2. Hair loss. Big muscles and male pattern baldness. Good combination? Probably not, but there’s always the Hair Club for Men. Of course, if you’re a woman and start taking steroids, you should probably stock up on shaving cream.
3. Your balls could possibly shrivel up to the size of peanuts. If you’re okay with that, that’s your issue. The pack is thinned of another idiot.
4. Your heart could just stop one day. Once again, we’ll sign you up for the Darwin Awards.
5. Hear of ‘roid rage? How about delusions?

Tags: EPO, Hair Club for Men, human growth hormone, male pattern baldness, performance enhancing drugs, steroids